twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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