something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
