i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I did not marry a roomba.
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