she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
