please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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