I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
