Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
