you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
