Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
