i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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