Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
