if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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