Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
