I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's great music for shaving your balls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.