I'm an idiot
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap