am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!