why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.