Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
