Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
