White coat. Heels.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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