She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
