Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Life is so much better after having sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
