I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize