hell yes lets make some ravioli
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
