She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
