I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
