Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
