And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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