You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize