I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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