Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
