i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
