the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
