I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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