i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
