I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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