WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
