she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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