Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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