All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
