Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
