Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

(1-310): View more from California

ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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(310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick. http://tfl.nu/aucq

Replies (28) Good night (469) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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(386): View more from Florida

That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.

(954): View more from Florida

Apparently hers is a theme park.

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(386): That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground. (954): Apparently hers is a theme park. http://tfl.nu/yoy4

Replies (8) Good night (934) Bad night (1939)
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(810): View more from Michigan

omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

(1-810): View more from Michigan

i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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(810): omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is? (1-810): i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen? http://tfl.nu/lnp6

Replies (17) Good night (3077) Bad night (679)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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(662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y

Replies (34) Good night (3899) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

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(813): If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing. http://tfl.nu/gg1f

Replies (26) Good night (5963) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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(407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13

Replies (13) Good night (804) Bad night (3713) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

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(847): I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies" http://tfl.nu/cpcz

Replies (7) Good night (2931) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.

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(832): I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin. http://tfl.nu/0104

Replies (19) Good night (1942) Bad night (3355) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.

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(918): I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance. http://tfl.nu/ugp3

Replies (13) Good night (1454) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.

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(651): You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions. http://tfl.nu/alli

Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm off the liquor

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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(403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp

Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??

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(405): That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number?? http://tfl.nu/hwoq

Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.

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(860): My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church. (1-860): I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life. http://tfl.nu/n824

Replies (4) Good night (1962) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.

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(610): And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting. http://tfl.nu/51mm

Replies (10) Good night (518) Bad night (1357) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.

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(605): I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way. http://tfl.nu/xvcq

Replies (6) Good night (590) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt

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