Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
