dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
