So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
