are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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