No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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