brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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