I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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