i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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