How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
