I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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