Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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