Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize