margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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