Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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