He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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