we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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