When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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