the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ttyl tear gas
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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