Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
