yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
