he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
