Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
