I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
