lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
