we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
