I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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